Christmas is around the corner

Well today I am having a really rough day, prayers are needed. I look under the tree and see all these gifts that belong to my spoiled rotten much loved niece and think how much the gift I really want is not under there and how tough it is this year to have Christmas.

I thought I would be okay with this but this week 3 people have said they are pregnant, once again here we go again how many like time it was 20 in 2 weeks... How many the week before Christmas? Don't get me wrong I am happy but hurting deep inside. One person is someone who is really close to me and man does it make the wound sting harder.

I keep talking to my friend about this all and I cry when I tell her and its tough because I know my time will come but seriously HOW LONG??

Today I was thinking, all I wanted when I was 19 and married was to live in Elkford and have Evan have a great job at the mine, it took 5 years for it to happen and when it did it wasnt quick it was June Resume, August 1st interview, September 2nd interview in person and October hired.. So here I sit and think All I want now is to have a family, children of my own, children I can love and cuddle and have call me mom. Its tough this March it has been 4 years of waiting and trying, I hope I am a mom before the 4 year mark.

Please keep us in your prayers and pray that 2010 brings us wonderful news quickly and that I dont have to wait anymore its tough.. I have learn patients and well its time.

God please help me make it through hopefully my last ever alone Christmas of not being a mother, this is tough God and I need your help.

Denise

Merry Christmas

Have a great holidays everyone!!

We are having Christmas at my brothers for the morning, breakfasts and gifts and then coming here for dinner! On Christmas Eve we will go to my parents and then to church.

Hopefully this will be the last Christmas we are single and that next year we have a house full of kids.

Have a joyful Christmas!!!

Home Study

Our Home Study is done!! I sent off the corrections tonight and it is done done done!!

Please pray that 2010 will bring us great joy right away!!

Also please pray for my family, My Grandma has just passed away.

We went to Calgary this weekend to get my mom from the airport and went shopping it was good times.

So this is where we stand please keep praying i know there are children out there for us but I am like anyone else I want them now!!

All I want for Christmas

Well this year I did not want to ask for anything, All I really truly want for Christmas is children. It breaks my heart to know that its December 1st and I probably won't get kids till 2010, I hope 2010 is a wonderful year for us.

Anyways I am sorry I am such a downer, I am just really tired of having people ask me if we know anything or if our home study is done or when we will get kids. These are all questions I have NO answers for. I do know a family is bringing home their baby girl this week and it does make me sad to look at pictures, but it also makes me happy that SOON that will be us!

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
You (You= Children)

On Bended Knee

On Bended Knee I come, with a humble heart I come

I am getting through each day, My heart is still broken and I can not wait for the day we get kids, I will be so excited and be complete.

We talk to our social worker and we have been talked about 3 different Native sets now.
Today she told me about a 3 month old baby girl, but they are going to try to get Native parents she said well once you get tired of trying to find some I have a family for you. So please pray she is a baby and I would be so grateful and happy with a baby. I do really wish for a sib group but a 3 month baby would do the trick too.

So please please please keep praying that this goes faster for us and that we don't wait forever

Denise

How do you deal with hurt?

I try to find a song that helps me out, and really I don't know God's plan for us and I dream of what God has in store for us, I dream of having a family, I watch each day on the BC adoption board and see kids, and I hope that the kids that get posted or when I get an email or a phone call its my social worker saying guess what we have kids for you.

Today at church we Sung Everything and here are some lyrics that have helped me today.

GOD IN MY HOPING
THERE IN MY DREAMING
GOD IN MY WATCHING
GOD IN MY WAITING

GOD IN MY LAUGHING
THERE IN MY WEEPING
GOD IN MY HURTING
GOD IN MY HEALING

So I do want to share with you, we have been looking into 2 different sibling groups of Aboriginal children, one group is 2,4 and 5 years old and one is 17 months and 3 years old. Please pray for us and that God show's us if any of these children are meant for us.

Please keep praying for us through this, its very tough for each of us and I really need my life to feel complete and I need to be a mother, I am feeling so empty lately and all I want to focus on right now is getting our children.

No Sugar at all

This Post will not be sugar coated at all and if you choose not to read thats okay but I am going to write my feelings out right now and they might not be the best but this is my blog a place where I can bitch about what I need to and to jot down stuff I need to.

So for the past week I have been holding in stuff and I am ready to explode.

Where to start for 1 week now 15 people have announced they are pregnant or going to be a dad, so thats one thing I have to deal with well today going on facebook expecting to see number 16 announcing but also praying not well that didn't happen # 16 announced they are going to be parents today, okay 16 seriously God when will I have the joyful news well 16 is even tougher for me, its a big blow in my heart... #16 is a family who is adopting and started the flippen Home Study in September SEPTEMBER DAMNIT I started Febrauary 10th with our home study and for Crap Sakes I do not know where we stand because our social worker is not getting back to us and well obviously has been helping this family and not us. So yeah that stands that I am so flippen frustrated right now.

Anyways I am so sick of hearing the following

1. In God's time, Well yes I know in God's time, but God I am super ready to be a mother and Evan is a father, and I am sick of hearing it will happen when God wants it to, well God when is that time 2 or 3 years from now. I need to know, I need to have an answer I am ready to give up and throw in the sticks.

2. Your still young don't rush it! Are you kidding me I may be young but do you know for the past 4 years hell all my life I have wanted to be a mother so stop saying it!

3. Well I have heard many many stories of well my sister adopted and then got pregnant, that maybe so but its not getting me a child right now. Maybe we will be lucky one day and have a child of our own but right now I know adoption is it.

Right now I am not happy with my life at all, I am getting depressed and can not handle it anymore. My life is not complete at all, I have Evan but I need to be a mom, I need children. I have wonderful parents and a brother and sister in law and a wonderful niece and great friends BUT WHEN WHEN WHEN WHEN is it my time??? Seriously will it be ever? GOD WHEN WHEN WHEN..

Why is it that I want this so bad and someone who doesn't gets pregnant tonight and then doesn't love that child. But for me who wants a kid, who always wanted one its like jumping in front a semi and chancing not getting hit.

I was always told it was an emotional roller coaster, for adoption but you know what the only person making it the roller coaster is my social worker, she has hardly wrote us and let us know anything, obviously as she has been working with this other family and not for us like she said she would have us in the computer and everything.

GOD PLEASE Give me an answer....

I wish I could tell you all my life is complete and I am happy with Life, but really I am not

Well thats all for now

Denise

What do you hate?

So today I have had lots of time to think and I am apart of a few message boards and have tons of friends on facebook.

#1 thing I hate is when people whine about being pregnant because they are sick and wish they weren't sick and how they only talk about that. And they whine whine whine. How I wish I could be pregnant with puking every 10 mins and sicker then a dog, I would be good with it.

#2 Social workers! I say this because our home study was suppose to be done and I have emailed my social worker a few times and nothing!!

#3 people who do not return texts

#4 Going on FB and message boards and finding out 10 people got a Big Fat Positive pee stick! 10 OMG seriously

#5 TIME, WAITING omg I want to just jump and get a kid WHY WHY WHY!!

Anyways sorry we have not written we have not been around, we went on a youth retreat this weekend and man am I tired!

Tonight we painted our ugly Rose walls and painted it a DARK chocolate colour, it looks good!

Anyways I am tired I will write more later

Keep Praying for us and please remember to pray for 4 children that have been in my heart!

God Gives and he takes away

Today is about children, we don't have any yet and I know that God will take away the broken heart that I suffer and will give us children.

There are children all around the world and there are blogs all around the world that I read, today I want to tell you about one family because they need our prayer.

Stellan who is a year old today! Happy 1st Birthday Sweet baby boy! Stellan is in need of prayer The Article is from Stellan's moms blog

In the womb, he was diagnosed with heart failure, suffering from Supraventricular Tachycardia, hydrops and heart block. At 24 weeks the doctors told the us that our gravely ill unborn baby would surely die. We chose to give our son completely to God who surprised us with Stellan's miraculous recovery: our son was born healthy! MckMuffin began to suffer from SVT again at 4 months, was additionally diagnosed with PFO, a hole in his heart, and had a partially successful heart procedure performed at 5 months. Whether the future holds more surgeries or a pacemaker for our miracle boy, we don't know. But God does and we trust Him no matter what He decides.

So please Pray for Stellan he is in very rough shape, the worst he has ever been in SVT and he needs our prayers today that God will take away and give him a new heart, and heal the kidneys that aren't working right now.

So please pray for Stellan, updates can be found at http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ or his moms twitter http://twitter.com/MckMama

WOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO

WE ARE DONE!!!

Woooooooooooohoooooooooooooo We are done the home study and man was it long! Now we wait for our social worker to write it up and I am giving her 2 weeks and then I will be an annoying rat who won't leave her alone.

So we kinda asked her about looking into other provinces for a sibling group and she said she would help us if we knew of any kids. So please pray!

Now is the time to pray for God's will and that God will show us the children he wants us to parents. I have my heart set on a sib group but I need to see what God wants.

Keep those prayers coming we need them!

Denise

We are home!

We had an good vacation we are both exhausted as it was go go go go! But thats alright, we got to see many family members and lots of friends.

Please pray for us as we know of some kids in care somewhere and are very interested in them but need to see if they go on the national list so we could apply for them.

So please pray for us and this journey we may take, but pray for these children and that if Evan and I aren't there parents that they find a home that will love them and care for them.

God has really showed himself to me lately and showed me that I am strong and that he has taken away the pain I have felt about not having a baby of my own and has made my heart pure to the adoption. I have a friend who found out she is pregnant I am super excited for her but she was scared to tell me and I know she has been trying for awhile and was going to visit the fertility dr. God is amazing and I wish her the best 9 months of pregnancy ever! I am at peace now with people getting pregnant, not very at peace yet with those who complain all the time they are sick and that they want to be pregnant and all they do is complain but maybe thats something I need to pray for.

God please show us the path that you have set for us, if its the children then please show us this and allow the journey to go smoothly. Thank you Jesus for who you are! Praise you Lord, be with these children and wrap your loving arms around them.

Thanks for thinking of us

Denise

Slacking

Oh my have we been slacking or what!

We had a class last week on the phone and hopefully will be able to attend the next one, we fly to Ontario that day and get in around 6pm and the call is at 10pm so we shall see. I really want to as its on FASD and even though I know lots about it, I can always learn more and more! We watched the FAS movie it was good.

We also have a movie to watch called Open Adoption so I am looking forward to that also, its tough to think that our children can have openness with their bio family but to me that is important also.

We met with the social worker the other day, we both had to meet with her separate and she talked to us about abuse and our families. Holy Crap the things we have to do to get a child is crazy!! Anyways Evan and I are perfect Angel's (insert lightening bolt here)

When we met with her at our house she told us a year, well she has no realized a year is not good enough for us and has now said 6 months... She said if we don't have a child in 6 months we will have to look again at our home study... I know it could take longer but come on 6 months is a great time!! It will be April and then a month later we start camping woohhooooo. Praying this works out!! I want to take my children to the lake this summer!

We closed the lake the other day and its very sad, no more camping this year, we have enjoyed it a lot. But 7 months and we can go camping again! It is very cold here right now and I see snow up on the mountain and Evan said it was snowing at the mine today brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

Well we leave in less then a week and I am so excited!!

Anyways!!

Thats all for now!

Comments

Thank you everyone for their kind words.

So many people asked me how to comment on the blog

At the bottom click on comment pen on the right hand side.

Then you write your comment up in the section

Then you click as comment as Anonymous which is at the bottom

Make sure to sign your name so we know who wrote it!

So tell us if you read our blog, leave a comment!

Denise and Evan

On our side

Have you ever thought about who is On your side?

Through this journey I know who is on our side, and there are times we will say what we want in a child and people's mouth drop and say WHY why would you want that. Sometimes I think man just having a child to love is all I want, I don't care if they are "Normal" as long as I can love them and can meet their needs thats all I want. You really know who is on your side.

Being an Early Child Educator I have been around kids with all area of needs and some people get scared if the child has a need but not me, God has gifted me with this love and power to work with children and those that have needs are even better for me. And with adoption we might have missed so many goals that parents love to watch, like rolling over, walking, talking..... So that is what brings Evan and I willing to take a child that may have autism or may have cerebral palsy. But we do live in a small town away from medical so we are looking at that all.

There is an adoption board that we can look at profiles of children and well there are 2 children aged 1 and 2, we have sent in a request for more information on them. We have found out a few stuff about them and even though I know they will not be joining our family, I pray someone will be taking them and giving them all the love they need. And maybe God has plans but only time will tell.

There is another song that really has been hitting me all week and some days I will sit and sing it all day and realize that we are not alone and yes God is on our side!

God is with us through this journey and he is not leaving us and he knows our needs and wants and yes the mountains may crumble through this journey but we shall see! God will be there each and every day for us!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ejCdVRRIJ8&feature=related

On our side
Chris Tomlin

Everyone around the world

Hear the joyful sound
See the heavens open up
Hear the music coming down
Nothing's gonna separate us from the Father's love
I can't help but celebrate
'Cause we're not alone

If God is on our side
Who can be against us?
If God is on our side
We won't be afraid
Though the mountains may fall
And the sky will crumble
There ain't nothin' gonna stand in our way

Come on down to the riverside
Wash it all away
Leave behind your troubled mind
For an uncloudy day
Nothing's gonna separate us from the Father's love
I can't help but celebrate
'Cause we're not alone

Mighty to Save

So I was just putting away dishes and folding laundry when I was in thought and thinking of our new journey, and the song that popped into my head was Mighty to Save. And I know that God can move the mountain that no matter how bad the roller coaster is we will trust in God fully and he knows our heart and he knows the plan he has for us.

There are times I forget it and sit and think I want this and this... But our whole journey of fertility we have left to God, number 1 thing is always hearing when are you going to have kids and I always say when God gives us that wonderful gift. And its true, I was talking to a few friends and they do not know how I have gone 3 years without doing treatments right away or how I have waited so long but God has given me the heart to realize what I really wanted and that was adoption.

Since the song has touched me so much and if you have not heard it then I suggest looking it up, the words to the song are in bold and tonight as I sit here I thank God for giving us this journey. He has blessed us with infertility that we will be giving a child(ren) a loving and caring home. I know it sounds silly but we have taken it as is, we are greatful that there are wonderful doctors out there that would try to get us pregnant but God has had other plans and he has opened our heart to those plans.

Everyone needs compassion, people see we hurt and want to offer their advice and don't understand why we are doing what we are doing and that is adoption. People have compassion for us and say they feel we are going to get pregnant, I heard that a few times that they had been praying for us and that they knew we would get pregnant in a few months and its almost a year. Thank you for showing us compassion by praying for us, please pray for our future children and that they are safe right now and that they are being shown compassion from their foster family or from someone.

Love that's never failing, wow my heart aches for this love, I have the love from Jesus and I have a very strong love from my mother and there is a strong part of me that aches because I want to show my children the love that's never failing and that love is from our Lord Jesus but also I plan on loving our children, these children will be ours and well loved as we want them.

Let mercy fall on me, please Lord show us mercy with children. It will be a beautiful sight in our house.

Everyone needs forgivness, Lord please forgive the families of these children, please protect them and Lord I pray for them each and all.

The kindness of a saviour, hank you Lord Jesus for your gentle kindness touch and love.

The hope of nations, my hope is for a family of 3 children we are out there in this nation.

Saviour, He can move the mountains, Yes Lord Jesus you are wonderful and we have this big boulder sitting in front of us but God you can move that mountain, Infertility and no Children God you are wonderful and you moved some stones to show us the path and now we wait for the boulder to be moved. You Can Lord Jesus move the mountains!

My God is Mighty to save, Yes Lord you can save the broken hearted, you can move the mountains, you can touch our lives and you can show the way Lord, because

He is mighty to save

Forever, Author of Salvation, Lord you are the authour of Salvation, you have given these children a second chance at life Lord God

He Rose and Conqured the grave, Yes Lord you did this for us and you saved us so we can save these children.

Jesus conquered the grave, for you and me and for our family

So take me as you fine me, Yes Lord thank you for letting us be open and letting our hearts be open to a child with needs such as Autisum thank you for giving us the heart to help these children as so many people want normal children and we will be thankful with a child.

All my fears and failures, Lord I do have fears this will take forever and I am scared I will fail and be dissapointed with how long it may take and being told No after being told Yes.

Fill my life again, Yes God please fill my life again with love and joy, thank you for Evan Lord, please for our life again.

I give my life to follow, Please Lord lead the way so I may follow you

Everything I believe in, Lord I have a strong faith and I believe that this is the begining of our long waited journey Lord.

Now I Surrender, Lord I fall to my knees praying for patiences and strength through this journey.

Saviour, He can move the mountains, Yes Lord Jesus you are wonderful and we have this big boulder sitting in front of us but God you can move that mountain, Infertility and no Children God you are wonderful and you moved some stones to show us the path and now we wait for the boulder to be moved. You Can Lord Jesus move the mountains!

My God is Mighty to save, Yes Lord you can save the broken hearted, you can move the mountains, you can touch our lives and you can show the way Lord, because

He is mighty to save

Forever, Author of Salvation, Lord you are the authour of Salvation, you have given these children a second chance at life Lord God

He Rose and Conqured the grave, Yes Lord you did this for us and you saved us so we can save these children.

Jesus conquered the grave, for you and me and for our family

Shine your light and let the whole world see, Lord let the whole world see that we are going to be parents

We're singing for the glory of the risen King.... Jesus... You are the King of all kings and we could not be doing this without your love. Thank you Jesus!!

Here is a You tube link- Its an amazing song-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwWYfwuTeaw

Thank you for walking with us in this journey and please keep praying for us, and pray for our children, pray they are safe right now and in loving hands. We can not wait to get them and show them the Love they may have never seen, our love and the love of Jesus.

Home Study Part 1

I say Part one because we were not expecting it to be this long but there will be maybe 4 parts to it and if all goes well we will be in the system by November 9th our social worker figures.

So for the most part tonight she just kinda got a feel of who we are and what we want. We said we want 3 kids, age from 0-7.

So one thing is we could get native kids if they allowed us too and I mean they as the tribe. I also learned tonight this is with other religions also, such as Mormons if we were Mormon we could get a little 6 month old baby, but since we are and don't plan on switching over that will not work for us.

So our next meeting is September 28th and then October 23rd and maybe one more depending on how much we talk about other stuff.

Then we are put in the system, she did say it might take up to a year but I am going to have faith. When leaving she asked how the Van handled the snowy January weather so who knows. She also told me it took her a year and half to place a 3 sibling group because noone wanted 3 so maybe 3 will be our lucky number.

But she asked if I am ready for the roller coaster ride and I said yes, I just want it to be a fast Roller Coaster, it could have lots of bumps but lets make it fast.

She is a great person and I am glad she is working for us, I told her I will be harassing her now expect a weekly email from me

Well thats all for now

Denise

Update September 11th

Do you ever want something really bad and when someone else around you gets it and you don't it tears you apart? I have been feeling this way about children, it kills me that all my friends have kids and people who just got married get pregnant like right after their wedding, but Evan and I have to go through troubles and all I ever wanted was a baby. It does eat me away inside and I heard a song the other day about a mother who lost her baby and wrote her a song and in a part it says people say you are brave, but truth is I am barely holding on, in reality this is how I feel and I know a lot of people who suffer from infertility feel. Some go the medical route and really if we could afford it and know that we could have the $12,000+ sitting there to do it. I would try the whole fertility treatments, but we are still paying student loans off.

Today we got some great news our home study is on Monday! MONDAY oh man I thought we would do it at the end of the month or something but its coming and I am super excited and pumped for it and I can't wiat for her to come in and we do the home study part and then have meetings and get in the system. I was talking to a friend and she said she knows some who it only took 6 weeks! 6 WEEKS are you kidding me oh man time is ticking, I want to go shopping and buy like a bunk bed for the one room but I am trying to hold back, what if it takes 2 years.

I need to remember no matter what the road is that we need to have faith in GOd and follow him, it might be tough but we need to do it together.

Monday is going to be a new day, we are going to do a diet and lose weight and we are going to be on the path to having our forever family, our forever family we both ache for each day.

Our Niece turned 2 today! Happy 2nd Birthay Muckin!! We love you so much!!! Here are pictures from her day http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=103719&id=511179856

Please just pray for us that we are on the path for being in the system and really we just need lots of prayer that God will show us our forever family, that we can share the love we both have waiting with our own children, and our money hahaha Larkin was a spoiled little girl today!

Thanks for letting me whine about my heart ache right now.....

I will add the song lyrics, the band name is Selah and they are wonderful. Todd is a singer and his wife Angie wrote the song.

Denise

I Will Carry You
There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen Me
To carry you

These lyrics were written by Angie Smith (in collaboration with her husband Todd from Selah and Christa Wells) to her daughterAudrey Caroline. They just walked through a situation very similar to ours and I wanted to share these beautiful words that absolutely spoke to my heart.

Our 1st Clas

Well tonight was our first class on the phone, it was nice to be able to talk to 4 other couples in the same stages of us. We talked about who are the children in teh system and what are expectations are.

Evan was not lucky enough to have sat on the 1 hour and half class with me as we said our name his cell phone went off and was lucky enough to have to go to the bedroom and work 2.5 hours on a confrence call to fix something at one of the mines.

So our next class is in 2 weeks, we watch a movie and read chapters and a hand out before class then we talk about it on the phone. It was good but a bit boring

So thats where we stand, on the 25th I am to go meet with the social worker and then hopefully she will come here to do our home study.

Denise

New place

Well after I typed about the 6-8 months yesterday to see the dr in Calgary we got a phone call it was so weird, it cost lots of money just to go see them $250 deposit plus a stay over in Calgary. So right now we are just going to focus on Adoption.

Anyways what you all have been waiting for Picture's to our house click HERE... I hope it works

Anyways we are off to Calgary this weekend going to go shopping for a BBQ

Have a good one!

We are home!

We have officially moved into our new place! We have phone, Internet and cable!

Its nice to have our own place again with more room then a tiny apartment.

Howie and Jake are doing well, Howie thinks he should be anywhere we are so he has been following us everywhere we go and Jake is Jake and hides under the couch until the blinds start shaking then he runs.

The views from here are amazing, Mountains on 3 sides, we look at the ski hill from our bedroom and more amazing mountains from our front deck! I know take pictures soon!

The unpacking is going well, I have a little left then I need to do a big clean sweep and hang pictures on the walls and we are done until the new painting begins.

Evan has been working Overtime since they have started a new project at the mine and last night he got home just after 8 and tonight should be the same. I wish he was home earlier this week, its so crazy moving in to our place and him having to work 13 hour days. But its okay this weekend we are going to Calgary to celebrate my dads 70th birthday party! A new mall just opened up with a big Bass pro shop and a mall with 250 stores and the best of all a Bath and body! wooohhhhooooo and then we are going to red lobster and we are going to go to the casino for the night. Its going to be good to get away with Evan please pray he can go and nothing goes wrong on Friday at work that he has to stay behind.

So I called the doctors office today to see how long it would take to get into the fertility clinic and calgary, they told me 6-8 months holy crap! I was in one in London right away and 2 months for the second. This blows! We will go to see the fertility doctor to ask what our option is and to make sure everything is okay. But we are just going to adopt for now, its a big relief that we started the adoption and didnt wait for the fertility clinic.

Well thats all for now!

Win Ugg boots

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Go there to win your free Ugg Boots! A winner each month!

Home Sweet Home!

Well we got the house yesterday, its good we have emptied half of our apartment but are still moving slowly.

The place is nice, there are 2 walls in the living room that have well had wall paper on it, small little roses well I pulled it off today to my suprise of BIG BIG BIG Pink Rose Pannel lovely eh!!! So we will be painting that for sure. Our plan is to paint the living room a nice chocolate brown to make it nice and dark. Its a fair size room with two Big windows. Then we are going to paint the kitchen/dinning room, Red and Black... I will take pictures of before and then after.

So the home owners told us it was a newer hot water tank, well guess what there was sludge in it 200lbs worth! gross eh! So anyways they purshaced a new hot water tank for us!

But we have ran into a problem, five years ago the trailer next door to us caught on fire and burnt to the ground the fire department cut our phone lines and cable line so if you guessed it we do not have phone nor do we have cable for a week or so. We may not get a phone if they are going to charge us to install the lines. 5 years and they never repaired them I was so mad and upset about this. So now we wait and see if there will be a big fee.

Well thats all for now I am exhausted from staying at the place all day doing not much at all

Denise

Home time soon!

Wooohhhoooo I am super excited that we are getting our place soon. It means we can get our kids probably faster. We would love to build an addition right away so we could have 4 bedrooms but I think it will have to wait till next year.

Our class starts on September 9th and we have home work to be working on as well as moving. We have 3 chapters to read and a movie and a handout. I am sure we will get it done.

Evan has to work like for the next few weeks its pretty crazy his schedual but they are doing a new project.

Please pray that we can find time to move and get our homework done.

Also please pray for my friends sister and brother in law who should be leaving for africa soon to get their son! Praise God they are able to get this child.

Will add pictures of our new place in our next post

Denise

Getting Excited

Starting to get excited about a couple things. The date we take over the house is coming up. Also soon we will be joining a conference call with other people in the adoption process. It will be nice to talk to people going through that same things as us.

Evan

Update

Its Denise here

Anyways I have been talking back and forth this week with our social worker. She is going on holidays but got all our papers. Once she comes back she will be full force in September with us doing our home study and getting us all together to go into the system.

September is great this way we can move into our house and get everything ready to go.

Anyways I left Evan for 2 weeks and have gone on holidays with my parents, that way I am not sitting at home waiting and going crazy about our place. We are currently in Brandon Manitoba and are heading to Thunder Bay for my Grandma's birthday. We will be back on the 23rd and get the house the 26th... Poor Evan has to make the bacon so he is stuck at home with the cats.

Anyways so there will be no more news for a few weeks...

Denise

House News

Everything is done now. All that is left to do now is sign the papers. Thanks for everyone who prayed for us when we waited for the details to work them selves out. Keep praying for Denise as she works on the final preparations and scheduling.

Evan

New House

Hello all looks like we are buying a house. We got a call a couple days ago and we loved it. Its an older modular but is in good shape and the best part is its a double lot with tons of space.

It has three bedrooms so there will be lots of space for any new additions to our loving family.

Were going to the bank tomorrow to finalize everything so keep us in your prayers.

Take a look!

Evan

So much!

So On Thursday I got me meet our friends new beautiful little girls, wow its amazing I am so happy for her. They are adorable and so well behaved.

Once we get into the system we will let you all know but we also want you to pray for us daily, I'm not sure if we will tell everyone until we know its for sure, But we may but please do not get attached until its for sure.

So there ya have it!

We just finished our last sheets and will send them out and then hopefully have a home study soon.

Denise

Crazy Day

Wow today was such a crazy day!

I drove to Fernie (62kms) away to meet the social worker we had a good 1 hour and half talk. So now that all our paper work is in she can input it and then she comes does a visit (home study) and then we go into the system this can take up to 2-3 months then the big emotional roller coster will happen. Please Pray for us and the journey we are about to take. I ask this because once we are in the system we could get a phone call and be told their are children and then last minute be told no. Its not going to be an easy journey its an Emotional Roller Coaster.

This journey could take like 3 years so please please pray that we get our family sooner then later. We do know that God has planned children for us and we aren't sure if they are born yet but please just pray for our future children.

A few months ago I was shopping with my bestfriend and her son turned to us and said Mom why does Denise not have a baby and Nana said well she doesn't yet and Nikelaus said Mom maybe her baby is in another girls tummy. Well there is a God moment.

So in a couple of months we will ask you to join our emotional roller coaster with us and be there to support us and to cry with us.

Today I went to talk to the guy about the modular home and he told me about the one I loved he would sell to us for $168,000 but we need a pad to rent so we are waiting till the end of the month and then we shall have a plan. So please pray that if this is ment to be then God will help us out.

Well thats all for this week

Denise

PS I promise Evan will post one day he did try but it failed

Tomorrow

Well today I (Denise) went and checked out 5 places while Evan was at work I do love 1 and I like 1. The other 3 are off the list. Tomorrow I am going to go talk to the guy that owns them tonight he put up a sign that sais $453 bi weekly to Own or rent not sure. So tomorrow I am going to go talk to him and try to deal with him. If he will rent to own AWESOME!! then we wont have to go to the bank and deal with the mortgage, I will also ask for him to lower the price a month maybe to $850 a month. Its a bran spanking new modular with 3 bedrooms and 2 full baths. Its awesome dark cherry wood cupboards. So we shall see Im in love but loved the other bigger one better.

Also tomorrow I am going to go meet with the social worker and talk to her and hand in our paper work.

So please pray we can get a place to live and that we can get the show on the road! It would be best if we can rent to own the place as its beautiful and will help us out with our savings.

Denise

update

Evans Criminal Record check is finally done, so I am hoping I can get all the papers off tomorrow.

We are looking for a place to live we would love to have a 3-4 bedroom so we can adopt a sibling group. Everything here is double then what it was in London it sucks!

So we have a few options we went to the bank and need $10,000 to pay down our loan (Evan's student debt) and then we could get a nice house but without it we are looking at a cheap crappy place to do renos. Renos can delay the process to.

So here is an option we buy a new modular home and find land to rent (trailer court) and then in a few years buy a piece of property and then build a fondation and put a brand spanking new modular. We looked at this one yesterday and we are both in love- http://penticton.modulinesalesbook.com/floordetail.php?fp=28671

So if you could pray that we find a place and that God would show us a place to settle to raise our family that would be great.

Denise

Evan's First Post

Time to get started on posting. I am excited that we have started the process again here in BC. I know that this could take some time and with some patience all will be worth it.

I am really happy and ecstatic to welcome a new little reker when the time is right.

Thank you and Prayer Request

Thanks so much for all the positive and loving words people sent us!

One prayer request right now is that Evan's criminal record check would hurry up and get back so we can get all our paper work in. Mine took a day and his is taking much longer then a day, almost 2 weeks but they do say it could take up to 3 weeks.

We are still waiting on our referral to the fertility clinic also. That could take months!

We also are going to look at a plac, its very outdated like stuck in the 70's but we are hoping we can get it cheaper and just do the reno's. But we hope it has the family room plus 2 bedrooms down stairs, my brother lives in the same house across the street so we know how his is laid out. Here is the MLS # it is a duplex (semi) http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=8371018

Denise

Adoption process Journey so far

Well adoption is such a blessed journey and we are super excited to have started this journey. We do know its not going to be easy and we plan on many road bumps, sadness and struggles, But we are ready and pray that it will be an easy ride for us.

First of all we have met with the social worker, she came to our place and checked it out. She said it was nice and big, but it could play a problem some social workers may say oh an apartment. So Evan and I have been looking for places, we would like at least a 3 bedroom so we could adopt a sibling group, or maybe a 4 bedroom so we could have at least 3 siblings.

After meeting with her she sent us tons of papers to fill out, we filled our 18 pages each and then had to have medical and criminal record check done. We are just waiting for Evan's criminal record check to come back so we can mail it all off.

Our Social worker (SW) sent out reference checks to 4 of our close friends/family members, these 4 people have sent them all back and so that is one step done.

Our SW will have to come back to our house and meet with us separate and get a feel for what we both want and question us and also draw out our house and write about it (home study). So once she gets all the papers she will do this.

Once everything is done, home study, paper work. We get put in the computer and wait! Its not going to be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.

What we want, we would love a child from 18months-3 years old. A new baby would be awesome with a sibling. We would actually love a child around two for Larkin (our niece) to have a playmate all the time. We are talking about 2 children, a sibling group would be awesome, if one is younger and the other isn't to old.

Problems with children- So after meeting with our social worker, we have found out that 95% of the children in the BC ministry will have some sort of issue. That being said Evan and I are ready for anything. We had to fill out papers and they asked us what issues we would accept. We have decided on mild Autistic and would take a child that was addicted to Drugs or Alcohol during pregnancy (Most of these children were born with either of these). Drugs/Alcohol could have many emotional delays, and we are ready for it. As we told the social worker we could have a child natural and it could have autism and we would still love that child and get the best help for that child, so why would we not consider taking a child with these characteristics.

We are very luck to have moved back to BC, we have meet some great friends. Our pastor and her husband adopted their little girl 2 years ago. And another friend just came back home with her 2 girls praise God!!

So as I say its not going to be easy Evan may have to take lots of time off work. But talking to our SW she said he may only have to take a week or two but she said to save money and to save holidays. As we can not adopt near us we would either have to go to Vancouver or up North (Yes we said yes to an native child or even an Inuit) or to anywheres from 5 hours- 20 hours from where we live.

Please keep us in your prayers for this journey and also that we can find a house to live in for not to much. Our home town has not dropped prices yet and houses are ridicoulous here.

Denise

Who are we

We are the Reker's and we got Married August 2003, we were both young but knew what we wanted in life. The one major thing we wanted in life was a baby.

Little did we know that it would take so long, we started our journey in March 2006 and are still facing doctors and now social workers.

Evan and I have moved and had to leave our last Fertility Doctor, who really did us no good. We were going to meet with a new one just before we moved. After we moved I have been seeing a doctor in a city close by but he can not help us and has to send us 3 hours away to the big city.

We have fertility problems and we will need medical help to get us through it. Poly cystic Ovary Syndrom has taken over, we are happy to say that the tubes are open. We will see if IVF is our only hope or if we can do IUI with Clomid.

Evan and I have decided we are willing to adopt, and are really happy with this decission and think this is what the Lord has planned for us. Maybe not doing fertility treatments are for the best, who knows we could be the next Octo parents!

So welcome to our Journey of trying to get ourself a little Reker or maybe 2 or 8 who knows what God has in store for us!