Happy New Years!!

Wow its 2010!!! Its crazy, I met Evan online December 2001 and now its 2010 crazy!! We have been married going on 7 years this year!! Wow time flies when your having fun! We have been trying for a baby since March 2006.

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Yes they do and I can only pray that our wait is almost over, I have faith that God has something lined up this year for us! And I am hoping that its sooner rather then later. How long do we need to wait for?

While we wait we will get stuff ready, we will focus on ourselves and become healthier, we will save more money, we will keep our house company friendly (social worker friendly)

For me I will eat breakfast every morning

Hope you all have a great New Years!!

Christmas is around the corner

Well today I am having a really rough day, prayers are needed. I look under the tree and see all these gifts that belong to my spoiled rotten much loved niece and think how much the gift I really want is not under there and how tough it is this year to have Christmas.

I thought I would be okay with this but this week 3 people have said they are pregnant, once again here we go again how many like time it was 20 in 2 weeks... How many the week before Christmas? Don't get me wrong I am happy but hurting deep inside. One person is someone who is really close to me and man does it make the wound sting harder.

I keep talking to my friend about this all and I cry when I tell her and its tough because I know my time will come but seriously HOW LONG??

Today I was thinking, all I wanted when I was 19 and married was to live in Elkford and have Evan have a great job at the mine, it took 5 years for it to happen and when it did it wasnt quick it was June Resume, August 1st interview, September 2nd interview in person and October hired.. So here I sit and think All I want now is to have a family, children of my own, children I can love and cuddle and have call me mom. Its tough this March it has been 4 years of waiting and trying, I hope I am a mom before the 4 year mark.

Please keep us in your prayers and pray that 2010 brings us wonderful news quickly and that I dont have to wait anymore its tough.. I have learn patients and well its time.

God please help me make it through hopefully my last ever alone Christmas of not being a mother, this is tough God and I need your help.

Denise

Merry Christmas

Have a great holidays everyone!!

We are having Christmas at my brothers for the morning, breakfasts and gifts and then coming here for dinner! On Christmas Eve we will go to my parents and then to church.

Hopefully this will be the last Christmas we are single and that next year we have a house full of kids.

Have a joyful Christmas!!!

Home Study

Our Home Study is done!! I sent off the corrections tonight and it is done done done!!

Please pray that 2010 will bring us great joy right away!!

Also please pray for my family, My Grandma has just passed away.

We went to Calgary this weekend to get my mom from the airport and went shopping it was good times.

So this is where we stand please keep praying i know there are children out there for us but I am like anyone else I want them now!!

All I want for Christmas

Well this year I did not want to ask for anything, All I really truly want for Christmas is children. It breaks my heart to know that its December 1st and I probably won't get kids till 2010, I hope 2010 is a wonderful year for us.

Anyways I am sorry I am such a downer, I am just really tired of having people ask me if we know anything or if our home study is done or when we will get kids. These are all questions I have NO answers for. I do know a family is bringing home their baby girl this week and it does make me sad to look at pictures, but it also makes me happy that SOON that will be us!

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
You (You= Children)

On Bended Knee

On Bended Knee I come, with a humble heart I come

I am getting through each day, My heart is still broken and I can not wait for the day we get kids, I will be so excited and be complete.

We talk to our social worker and we have been talked about 3 different Native sets now.
Today she told me about a 3 month old baby girl, but they are going to try to get Native parents she said well once you get tired of trying to find some I have a family for you. So please pray she is a baby and I would be so grateful and happy with a baby. I do really wish for a sib group but a 3 month baby would do the trick too.

So please please please keep praying that this goes faster for us and that we don't wait forever

Denise

How do you deal with hurt?

I try to find a song that helps me out, and really I don't know God's plan for us and I dream of what God has in store for us, I dream of having a family, I watch each day on the BC adoption board and see kids, and I hope that the kids that get posted or when I get an email or a phone call its my social worker saying guess what we have kids for you.

Today at church we Sung Everything and here are some lyrics that have helped me today.

GOD IN MY HOPING
THERE IN MY DREAMING
GOD IN MY WATCHING
GOD IN MY WAITING

GOD IN MY LAUGHING
THERE IN MY WEEPING
GOD IN MY HURTING
GOD IN MY HEALING

So I do want to share with you, we have been looking into 2 different sibling groups of Aboriginal children, one group is 2,4 and 5 years old and one is 17 months and 3 years old. Please pray for us and that God show's us if any of these children are meant for us.

Please keep praying for us through this, its very tough for each of us and I really need my life to feel complete and I need to be a mother, I am feeling so empty lately and all I want to focus on right now is getting our children.